The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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