Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
