Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
