I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
