New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
