NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There's always time for handjobs
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
