If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
