I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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