Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
