I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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