we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
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I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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