there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
