HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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