My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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