So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
