Where did you get a picture of my penis
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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