I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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