DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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