dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
