YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize