He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
