He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
