im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
