I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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