I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize