her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
