I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
