You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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