maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
