You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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