Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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