the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
