Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you win again, gameday.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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