Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
