You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
