It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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