Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He felt like a one man threesome
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
