what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
