shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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