I wanna passion pit in your ass
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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