so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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