It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize