Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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