He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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