good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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