oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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