You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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