i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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