he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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