im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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