I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Two words: nipple clamps
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