it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
