4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
