Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
