Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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