now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So much rum. So many feels.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
