Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My feet surprised me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
