Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
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strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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