Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
